Have you ever tried to recall someone or something; a moment, a conversation, an emotion, but no matter how much you try, you just can’t get it right? You can’t quite grasp the memory, you can’t bring it back and make it real. And it feels like looking through fog. It makes your mind hurt, like your own brain is urging you to forget, to move on.
I have been trying to remember a friend. A friend I have written about before… I say a friend… a Shadow, really. A Shadow in the fog. That’s what I’m looking for. It seems ridiculous, I know, but I am haunted by this Shadow, my Shadow. Always in the back of my mind, always trying to remember, but never quite managing to recall those moments, to make them mine. What I can recall is not enough and the more I recall, the more I want. But I can never get what I want, because all I have is a Shadow.
So I must endure the haunt until one day, perhaps my Shadow will take form. Perhaps instead of a shadow, I will see the one who has cast it all this time and then, I will not have to remember, I will not need to squint through the fog of old forgotten memories, for then I will be able to make new ones.
A Book Nerd 