When I think about you, it’s not the distance that’s the worst to bare. It’s not the silence or inconsistency or the confusion. It’s the uncertainty. It’s the endless stream of “or”s that tears me apart piece by little piece. It’s that when I ask myself why, I don’t have one answer, I have 10 and every day, a different one seems more likely. It’s that every question that I ask and every move that you make adds more possibilities, until I’m drowning.

This is what madness is. Madness is a chain of “or”s.

Art by Alex Hall

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